Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Early Scene from Wanted

This is a scene I wrote back in the plotting stages of one of my back cupboard historical romance manuscripts. I wanted to convey the heroine's spunk and the hero's fierceness together, but I thought they ended up as more annoying and scary than anything. Needless to say, this scene did not end up in the manuscript's finished draft. However, I always liked some of the composition and intrigue of the scene, so I thought I'd share for that aspect. I think it offers a good idea of the plot in one scene.

"You know, you really look nothing like your wanted poster."
Ty's head slowly rolled over to study the pretty girl gripping the foot board of his bed with both hands.  
"I mean, I'm just saying..." Her soft full lip turned white under the bite of her teeth as she studied him. "Hmm, yes," she mused, letting go of the bed frame and swinging back toward the stove. "I think I could give them a much better description--when I get back to Shady Grove that is." She cast a wry grin back at the young man, almost as though she were eager to see his reaction to her statement. He purposely showed no hint of a reaction towards her continued pestering.
"I've shot men for lesser verbal offenses," his soft low voice threatened.
The always ready smile on her face shot up at the corners. "But no women, master Tyler?" she asked coyly as she scooped porridge from the messy pot on the stove. She licked her finger before wiping it on her apron and grabbing a spoon. She smiled as she handed the bowl to her patient. Ty groaned as he pushed himself to sit up before excepting the dish. Jenny fixed the pillows behind him before stepping back and raising a finger to her mouth. One eye closed as she carefully examined him. Ty stopped chewing, his eyes slowly moving up her.
"I think it's your nose they have wrong, or maybe your jaw," she said at length.
The young man man nearly rolled his eyes as he took a sip from the glass of water on the stool next to him. Jenny shook her head, once again moving to the end of the bed for a better look. "No, no. My they are so off on that drawing," she muttered. "They make you look terribly fierce... older, and well, just scary. Have you seen it?" He shot a quick glance at her as he reached to put his empty glass back on the stool.
"Well you're much younger looking in person. Why, you can't be over twenty I suppose?" When he didn't respond she went on. "I just can't imagine how they could be so off on the sketching. Do you think they could have the wrong man?" Her voice sounded surprisingly hopeful.
"No," he answered, genuinely sorry to disappoint her.
"But they have your nose so, so big, and your chin is... is--I don't know."
"That's because they've never seen my nose and chin." He felt stupid for having to explain himself. Much less to some chatterbox female.
"Oh that's right!" The redhead seemed excited in her realization. "Of course you'd only pillage and plunder with a bandanna on, naturally." She stared out at the mountainous rocks from the dirty shack window for a moment. He was just starting to feel relieved that the interrogation was over, when she turned back to him. "Why is that? The bandanna I mean--why do you wear one?" He all but rolled his eyes. This girl never shut up.

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